“You’re So Big…”

…this is me, talking to my triceps.

let_me_explain_princess_bride.gif

Maybe I’ll start from the beginning. I realize that when I posted my last blog, I didn’t really tell much of the good news. My style when I write these is insanely straight forward. My wife will write hers in advance, sit on it for a few days, re-read them, edit what’s appropriate, and then submit it. Not even close for me. I’ll sit down, slam out between 500-1000 words, check the spelling and submit it after I add some pictures. It’s just how I prefer to do things, and I’ll admit sometimes some goofy shit happens, like when I went “wait lifting” a few posts ago. Trust me, I shuddered.

So when I wrote my last blog, I forgot to add an important piece of news; I lost weight! Four weeks ago, I weighed myself after several weeks of bad eating and no activity to discover I was at an all time high, 280 lbs. My lowest I’ve ever been was 230 that I documented, and that was six years ago. Now here I was, obese in every sense of the word and hating it. That’s what first got me to start working out and wanting to make a change. Last Tuesday I stepped on the scale after looking in the mirror and hating my belly to make a discovery that I know weighed 273. 7 lbs in four weeks? I’ll take it!

a victory

So yeah, I’ve made some progress, and what’s more is that I’m starting to see some serious results. Sure, I still have a gut, but I notice that my man boobs are starting to stick out more as muscular than fatty. If I flex hard enough, I can see my abs trying to poke out beneath my fat. My arms in particular are really starting to show off, and the wife loves that more than anything. She keeps grabbing my biceps and giving off sounds of affection as she does, which is the most flattering thing she’s done to me in a long time.

So, let’s recount my workouts and get them out of the way.

TUESDAY

Beach body, and marking the first time I’ve done a full week of the workout videos. It’s upper body, which I struggled something fierce. With my arm strength training at the gym the day prior and upper body fix as well, I get through the work by my form struggles. Again, I’m being mean as shit to the woman on the screen, but what’s more is that I’m starting to hate her for random reasons.

Reason 1: She say’s “booty” all the damn time. She’s obsessed with asses, she comments about what’s good for the booty, that it helps the booty, and touching the booty of everyone in the room. Quite frankly it bothers me a bit that she’s so blatant about it, especially since it comes off as immature. Maybe I’m just being spiteful as she’s the bane of my energy, but it’s getting old real f***ing quick.

Reason 2: She picks on the black guy. Every workout has a different cast minus the one woman who’s (what I like to call) the obviously out of shape one. This woman Kathrine is my damn hero, for she’s in all the workouts like a faithful gym goes who’s trying to change. The rest are just that guy you see once in a while who’s just maintaining their bodies. I love you Kat, and I hope you’re doing fine. Back on topic though, on upper body day there’s a guy in the back of the room who’s black (and every workout only has one black person every time). He’s cool, he’s fit, and he sweats like anyone else. When the instructor (Autumn I found out) here’s him say “thank you” when she says to keep it up, she starts badgering him.

a south park
Don’t make me throw down some PC, bro!

Now, I understand friendly ribbing, and I know this guy is paid to do this, but of all seven workouts, this is the only guy that this woman singles out and starts to harass him. Asking him why his weights are to light. “What are these, girls weights?” she asks him, staring him down while the rest of the class laughs. I’m livid at this, now that I’ve seen her for a whole week, and now I know that every Monday she’s going to take herself away from her duties as an instructor to rip on the one black guy in the room. I’m not trying to go full tumbler and declare white privileged, but hot damn Autumn, give him some slack for thanking you for pushing him.

WEDNESDAY

Alright, back on point. Today’s video was lower body, and like last time, it was intense. Thankfully, we got through it no problem, and it was some great time to bond with the wife. After we showered we went to have lunch at Dave and Busters, to which we shared to appetizer plates (slider burgers, hot wings and chicken tenders) and played video games. My ticket collection is out of control as I’m pretty good at hitting those jackpots. 16,000’ish tickets so far, and maybe one day I’ll jackpot my way into that PS4.

So at the gym tonight, I decided to do some research before on bodybuilding.com to find myself some back workouts to establish a plan. Sure enough, found some good free weights to work with and took them with me. I toned my elliptical down to 22 minutes and 400 calories, deciding that beach body is giving me enough cardio constant to worry about it at the gym.

WEIGHTS

  1. Back extensions:0/25/45, 10 reps
  2. Dumbbell squats: 50/70/70, 12 reps
  3. Wide grip lateral pull down: 70/90/90, 10 reps
  4. Some back machine: 90/110/115, 12 reps
  5. Pectoral fly: 70/85/110, 12 reps

“Some back machine” is because as I write this, my wife took my phone to her job tonight instead of her own, so my documentation is elsewhere. I only did that machine because I wanted to do rowing weights, but both machines were taken the entire time I was there, and standing around leering doesn’t help.

When I get home, I take my shower and change, but I notice something. I’m feeling something rigid in my arm, and I take a squeeze. I’ve got something now that I haven’t had in a while. Muscle definition. My triceps are actually starting to stick out, my biceps don’t move when I squeeze them, and my chest actually stays rigid when I hold them tight.

It’s working guys, and I can’t wait for this to get better.

 

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5 thoughts on ““You’re So Big…”

  1. Oh my love,

    I love your arms. They are amazing. I’m sorry keep drooling on them like a wild banshee while following you around the room, grabbing your arms while you talk. Because it’s totally not awkward. Your arms make me so stupid that I accidentially grabbed your phone as well as mine.

    Ooops.

    By the way, if you haven’t figured it out, this is your wife. Stalking you.

    xoxo

    Like

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