Abridged Update, With a Bitter End

Four days? F***. I’d honestly wanted to write an update two days ago, then yesterday, and sadly today wasn’t happening due to travel arrangements. Spent the better part of eight hours driving to meet my wife’s grandmother (who is lovely) and finally got home to catch up on an entire day’s worth of wasted internet in a few hours. So, if I remember correctly, I haven’t posted anything since Friday’s activities, so allow me to gloss over the fitness stuff and move from there.

SATURDAY

Beach Body on Saturday is called “Dirty 30”, which is essentially full body cardio with weights. Every group was tested, and it certainly was a pretty substantial amount of effort. Funnily enough though, it’s still more enjoyable than Pilates are, as it’s intense but still short comparatively, no active holding that stretches forever. Got to the end of it at one in the morning due to the fact that our trip to see our legal friend went on for quite a while, at a a metric ass load of Chinese food (do’h!) and saw “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” (to which I will say if you liked the first, you’ll like this too). Late as hell bedtime, but figured all was well.

SUNDAY

a sleeping

Uuuuugh. My dogs don’t understand when I need a day to sleep in. My German shepherd Sahara decided that I didn’t need to sleep after I fed her and her sister Luna (Alaskan husky). Every time I tried to roll over, she’d get in my ear and whine, a lot. I tried putting her in her kennel, howling. Put her outside to let her bask in the sun and asked my mother in law to watch her, Luna jumps the fence and plays in the neighbors yard, forcing me to drive the car around to the other street to collect her. I decided to give up and stay awake, now the damn dogs fall asleep.

Beach Body on Sunday is Yoga, and requires little effort on my part. Felt good to stretch, and I was so done with the day when I finished. Failed a bit of my diet again, but I’m just glad I got to sleep.

MONDAY

Oh yeah, it was time to get back on track. Light breakfast of egg, wheat toast and turkey bacon, the wife and I hit our power cardio workout at noon. This is fairly intense, working some serious shoulders and arms mostly, though it does make me use my knees and thighs as well. Hot damn did this hit the spot, making me feel better after some much needed endorphin’s. Finishing up the workout, we snap a pic and share it with the Beach Body group to track our progress, the two of us sweaty as all get out.

But the gym….

Well, to put it simply, I left the gym with my first taste of defeat. Firstly, it’s the first Monday, which means that with Planet Fitness there’s f***ing PIZZA at the front desk. I find this ridiculous to be honest, but I understand the appeal. It’s only once a month, so if you’re really going to pay a membership, you do deserve a reward if you’ve been good. IF YOU’VE BEEN GOOD BEING TO APT CHOICE OF WORDS. I shrug off the pizza, feeling good about following my diet today (chicken mignon, roasted cauliflower and quinoa salad for dinner) and get to work.

[[WARNING: CENSORING NOW VACATING THE PRESENCE TO EMPHASIS FRUSTRATION]]

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MY FUCKING BLUETOOTH HEADSET BREAKS RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

I hate working out in silence. I like music in the background as I pump it out, helping distract me from my surroundings and to keep myself pumped with soundtracks, techno, hard rock, Japanese heavy metal, remixes and so on. My blue tooth headset was such a huge help, being able to skip tracks without looking at my phone and helping me get through my workouts.

And the fucker breaks as soon as I put it on. No noise, no lights, nothing. I’m fuming on the elliptical, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not going to turn around considering I’m with someone, and even if I was alone I wouldn’t anyway. So I do 600 calories and move to the weights.

THE GOOD

I raised my max for bicep 21’s to 30 lbs. FUCK YES.

THE BAD

Out of the four machines I worked, I was unable to complete one triceps machine and one shoulder one. FUCK NO!

The Beach Body workouts had finally done it. Doubling down had finally got to a point that I was going to fail in one of my workouts with the way I had it set up. Sadly, this day, I struggled to the point that no matter how low I put the weights, I couldn’t do the seated bench press or shoulder pull down on the old levels, or even two sets lower than before. I had hit a wall of my own limitations. I could feel my muscles ache and my body burn, refusing to let me finish the set no matter how badly I wanted to end on a high note. I was surpassed by my regime, and there was nothing I could do to change it this day.

vegeta
I WANNA BE A SUPER SAIYAN! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA!

So with that, I took my defeated ass to my mother in law and let her know I was done. She had finished up herself and we walked back. Feeling dejected, I was ready now to grab a slice of sausage pizza for my troubles, feeling the call for comfort food.

AND IT SEEMED THAT NO FUCKING PIZZA SURVIVED THE FUCKING ONSLAUGHT OF MOOCHERS.

Never mind the fact that the gym was packed today more than usual, making finding a machine a little harder than usual. Never mind that the weight room was overloaded with people that defy the usual tradition of PF members with big muscled out guys who are heaving and grunting (I don’t have an issue, but they sure were hogging the free weights), never mind I’ve suffered a crippling blow to my ego from failing my routine, never mind I’m ready to cave into a moment of weakness to reward (at the very least) my good diet today, NOT ONE SLICE OF PIZZA LEFT FOR ME AT NINE O’CLOCK AT NIGHT.

Needless to say, I’m pissed. I can’t even cheat correctly it seems, and my muscles are on fire. Sputtering and asking the people at the front desk what I did to make them angry, I leave, a broken man and ready for the day to be done.

And then I had to wake up six hours later to drive north to meet more family.

Yeah, I’m done. I’m going to do another Beach Body tonight, the same upper body I did last week, and go to bed. I’ll talk more about this tomorrow (hopefully) and go further into the day and what else.

Wanna see another fitness junkie talk about Planet Fitness’s bizarre pizza policy? Check out Des_fitlife’s last blog, who weighs in on her breakdown of going to a gym.

Also, anyone know of a good headphone set for a guy who listens to music and sweats buckets?

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2 thoughts on “Abridged Update, With a Bitter End

  1. And this is why pizza should not be allowed!!! Fucking pizza!!

    Ok- sorry. I’ll get over it one day. Be careful with your workouts though. You still have a long way to go with the beach body!

    Like

    1. Fucking pizza indeed. I still love the stuff, but now I look at pizza like an ex-girlfriend who does crack. Sure, she’ll make you feel good for a minute, but you’ll wake up in a pit of regret if you let her back into your life.

      And yes, lots of work left for Beach Body. I actually need to figure out a new routine at the gym, as currently my plan makes monday/tuesday a painful nightmare.

      Liked by 1 person

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