Hello, good morning, afternoon, evening and day whoever you may be. Might I say that’s it’s quite the pleasure for me to have someone like you, who had an entire internet worth of Buzzfeed lists, Facebook click bait and Youtube videos decide to take a gander at this brand new blog. Your curiosity is commendable sir/madam, and might I add you look stunning. Did you just get a haircut? Are those new shoes? I can’t quite pin it, but perhaps it’s due to the fact that I’ve never met you before, or that I can’t physically see you anyway.
Are you entertained yet? No? Not surprising, I babble when I’m nervous.
How about the basics first? My name is Alex, thirty year old human male who has recently separated from the Air Force after six years of service. Just moved to Minnesota and rather fond of this place. I’m on a health kick I’d like to make constant and usually I tend to perform better and longer when I have support of others.
Allow me to explain my intentions here on this blog and what I hope to bring to the table for both of our amusements. Over time I have my hopes that at least twice a week I will post onto this website my exploits of gym training, dieting (success and failures) and to talk about my past, present, and hopefully future. I do want to please you though, so I hope to have a wonderful blend of comedy, tragedy, joy, and all sorts of blends in between. If I want anyone to read this, I obviously can’t be too monotone, can I?
So here’s my opening statement: I am tired of feeling like crap in my own skin. I’m 275 lbs and a nerd that somehow got married despite the fact I’m a lumbering giant who played Dungeons & Dragons and wears goofy shirts from time to time. I would say more about me personally, but since I’ve got so much to tell and I plan on doing more of this in the future, I’ll leave that right there for now.
Here’s the main objective: I want to be in some of the best shape I’ve ever been. Military forced me to pass my physical fitness tests, which I passed two-thirds of them with great reluctance. Now that my fitness is in my own hands, I’ve never been more content making my trips to the gym. Having gone steady for a little over three weeks now, I want to make sure I keep going, and a blog seems to me the best way to. Not to mention if anyone follows it, I think that’d make a great motivator for myself. Hell, the main reason I’ve been making it so far is that I go to the gym with my mother-in-law.
So what are my fitness goals? They are a little vague right now, as I’m unsure what my weight should be. 275 is too much though, so let’s start with 245 and work my way from there. My next goal is pure vanity, but I don’t care. In the words of Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, “I wanna look good naked”. My legs are in great shape, but my top half is a little more flab and weak then I care to admit. I want some tone definition, I want less tummy, I want pecs that look perky instead of titties that look perky. This will take time, but I want to put in the effort to get it.
Want to hear my twist? If people begin to read this and want to have some fun, make a suggestion! I hope to ask for anyone’s advice and take on challenges and document the feelings of doing them. I’ve seen all the push-up, sit up, running and so on, and I’m curious to see what people can come up with. I will try my best to not refuse challenges that people offer, but I do have stipulations for this idea.
- Low impact is a must. My time in the service has left my knees in a fairly fragile state. Though I can still walk and do normal stuff, running destroys my knees in short order and leaves me unable to walk right for weeks.
- Low budget for the time being. I will be beginning my first civilian job since 6 years ago in mid-April, but I did use some of my separation money to get a membership at Planet Fitness. I also have a pair of 15 pound weights for home use (which I regrettably confess that I have not used yet). For the time being, assume I can’t buy much, because it’s the truth.
I’m sure I can think of something else, but let’s just see stuff go wrong and I’ll fix it in hindsight. I do want to keep a fun mood with this though, so in addition to fitness and diet challenges, I also would like to inspire funny moments as well.
So you want to dare me to wear something silly? Give it a shot. Hell, that pink mustache made a couple people laugh that night and even got my picture taken (apparently I didn’t go viral, but whatever). I have little shame, so if you want me to try something new, I’ll post the pictures.
But I think this will do for now. I hope to do this twice a week, Tuesdays and Saturdays, but hopefully I can do more as I share myself with you all.
So again, good morning/afternoon/evening, and I hope to see you again soon!